Life after divorce can be emotional and stressful.
Divorce is a difficult time for you and your ex partner. No divorce is ever the same – you may feel sad, angry, confused… or you could feel happy and free.
No two people are the same. No one can tell you how to feel, but the important thing is to remember it’s not just about you.
Other family members and friends may also feel the stress of your separation. But no one will feel it more than your children!
It might be a confronting statement, but it is true. No matter the age of your children, they will endure emotional stress from the divorce of their parents.
Life after divorce for your children will be completely different.
Mum and Dad no longer live together, and their time is suddenly shared between the two of you.
Two different homes.
Two different bedrooms.
Two different sets of rules and expectations.
When children are involved it’s important that you put up a uniform front. You may not still be together, but you are both the parents and like it or not – divorce won’t change that!
We’ve developed a list of time-tested rules:
Rule 1 – Avoid conflict with each other. Life after divorce will already be hard enough for your children without them having to endure more arguing. They want, and deserve, to have you both in their lives.
Rule 2 – Include your children. Older kids will handle life after divorce different to younger children. They may have seen it coming. They may have friends who have been through divorce and they may have a little more understanding than you realise.
Or, they could be devastated!
It’s important to INCLUDE your children. Listen to them. Their lives are changing in a big way. Find out what they want, how they feel and include them in decisions. Allow them to continue with their social activities and sports to help maintain some stability in their routine.
If your kids are young, it’s best that they stay with the parent most able to provide day to day care.
Rule 3 – Plan the important days and agree on contact arrangements early. No doubt Birthdays and Christmas will become a bigger juggle than they were in the past. They’ll definitely become far more emotionally charged than they once were.
You must be rational, logical and fair – yet, strong. Be accommodating to the other side, but not submissive.
Overall, you want to cause as little disruption to your children’s lives as possible.
You’re aiming for balance between the needs of your children, yourself, your ex partner and everyone involved.
Know your legal obligations and responsibilities
This will help make the transition to life after divorce easier. There are many things you need to think about, and action. Contact us to discuss any concerns with updating your wills, property transfer and separation.